Emotional obliviousness
The sentiment that moods and emotions should be suppressed rather than expressed has deep roots in our corporate and entrepreneur world. Emotional displays are often deemed unprofessional or as a sign of poor leadership, based on the belief that good leaders must always appear composed and in control of themselves.
The model introduced by Daniel Goleman in the 90’s perfectly promotes self-awareness as the foundation of Emotional Intelligence. Then comes self-regulation: the ability to better control and redirect emotions and impulses, so as not to be swayed by them and remain effective in all circumstances. In other words, suppress them.
If we add the weight of centuries of cultural expectations and gender stigmas, we can safely say, we collectively have become very talented at ignoring and inhibiting our moods and emotions at work – especially the ‘negative’ ones.
Fast track to burnout
In his work “The 4R Model of Mood and Emotion for Sustainable Mental Health in Organisational Settings” Professor Christopher Beedie, co-founder of CHX Performance, is clear: considering that “80% of mental illnesses globally are associated with disordered moods and emotions”, and that “moods signal the internal biological environment, and emotions signal the external and largely social environment”, then “indiscriminately turning off a signal via regulation before it has been interrogated is problematic because addressing the cause might prove more valuable and important”.
In short, consistently ignoring adverse moods and emotions is like buying a one way bullet train ticket to burnout, depression or worse.
Workers are historically unhappy
Despite a growing emphasis on mental wellness, workers are historically unhappy, says Fast Company in their article “Why are workers so sad?”. Many companies still miss the mark. Wellness programs often focus on surface-level solutions that support employees in regulating how they feel, acting at symptom level.
A game changing approach would be to equip leaders to express how they feel and explore the root causes, and encourage their employees to do the same. Then build truly caring wellness programs that would educate them on how to restore balance or resolve emotions, as opposed to suppress them.
Robert Smith told the magazine Rolling Stone in 2019: “As an English boy at the time, you’re encouraged not to show your emotion to any degree. […] I never found it awkward showing my emotions. I couldn’t really continue without showing my emotions; you’d have to be a pretty boring singer to do that.”
Sustainable well being for performance
The era of boring leaders is over. We need a fundamental shift in how we lead, embracing a more connected, empathetic approach that prioritizes the well-being of everyone, including ourselves. Let boys and girls cry. Let everyone in the work ecosystem feel seen, heard, and supported. We must let go of outdated notions that equate emotional expression with weakness, and consider them as hard biological and social data that collected and aggregated at scale, signal the health of an organization, the happiness of its people, and its potential for sustainable high performance.
